What is being Positive? Are you a positive person?

A few weeks back, I responded a good friend of mine’s message about rain. She was saying that the rain was not too bad. And I said:

• I could have stayed away from the rain and headed home but I went to a coaching masterclass instead. It was quite nice and I met some people. After that, I got wet due to the rain 🌧️😅 I think I made the right choice.

Hearing this, she said:

• I like your attitude. Very positive!

When you read what I said, would you consider it as positive? Probably yes. For me, though, it is my normal. It is how I see the things normally, as a basic instinct.

I was at work and was thinking of what to do:

• Going to the masterclass or
• Work a couple hours more and then head home.

I decided to go to the masterclass. I set out immediately to catch the tube. Once I came out of the tube station at Waterloo, it just started to rain. I did not have any umbrella with me. For a moment, I considered going back to the tube station. I could have headed home instead and would stay dry. A lot of people might prefer to do that and it is a perfectly normal and acceptable decision. We want to keep ourselves comfortable and safe. This is the normal thing to do.

Some people like me (not all the time), though, may prefer to do the uncomfortable: Going to the masterclass, for which I only knew the title and location. Knowing all along that the rain would keep pouring down, probably intensifying, towards the end of the masterclass. It was also an almost 20 minute walk from the Waterloo tube station. So, I went to the coaching masterclass. I met quite a few new people. I made some new connections. And most importantly, I learnt a few new things. My only goal for the evening was to learn one new thing. My only expectation. Nothing else.

I thought of the time when I was coaching my brothers and sister. We were all children. I was to help them with their homework and teach especially the mathematics and science subjects, when they did not fully understand the subject. My only aim was for them to get a good score from their exams/classes. I was not thinking of them as a human being. As a whole person. I was treating them almost like robots, with a single purpose, with no feelings or emotions. They were blaming me for not teaching them how they would understand. I did not know and I did not care that much. I tried a lot, though. But I blamed them for not listening to what I was saying and I thought that the way I was teaching them was good.

The second thing was that I realised that I should try and reduce my workload to better perform at work and in life. If one is very busy all the time, one cannot expect to do great things. One would always do a catch up, not be ahead of the game. Our brains need resting and peaceful times to do its thing. So that we would actually learn and internalise what we learnt. On my way home, I talked to my client. I asked him to bring in someone else, someone new on board so that I could focus on the projects I liked better. And he agreed that it was a good idea to implement and he would start looking for that.

I also learnt some other things and took notes during the class. It became a great evening in the end. And I was happy for my decision.

In my life, on many occasions, when I said “why not?” and chose the uncomfortable or rather the unknown, they led to significant changes in my life. I am eternally grateful for them. On this occasion, I was able to learn new things and it opened my eyes to see what I did wrong with my brothers.

And I got a bit wet because of the heavy rain at the end. So what?

I also took the photo below, on my way to the tube station, while getting wet in the rain.

On my way to Elephant and Castle Tube Station

It all depends on our perspective at the end of the day. We live what we live. We experience what we experience. The real difference is how we perceive those experiences. I do not categorise myself as a positive person. If at all, I am a realist. A brutal realist. Being a realist means that you know your reality and you work with it. Accepting facts in life is extremely liberating. Being able to see those facts without our biases, on the other hand, requires constant hard work and questioning everything.

If your default setting is to see what you gain and experience, you will be happy and content. If your default setting is to have a world of your liking, if you have too high expectations from the world, you will probably have a lot of sad moments. You may even be called “pessimist”. The world does not revolve around us. The best way is to accept the facts of life and move on. Then, the door to a different life opens up. You may prefer to change your perspective and become a happier person.

What do you choose?